guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
