Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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