I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
false alarm, still single
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
