you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
