That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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