Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
