Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
