Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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