im having a threesome with these popsicles
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
