We're facebook friends in real life
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
