oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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