The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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