I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
