He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
