she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
