85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
