Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
