Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
God, I missed his penis.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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