normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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