ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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