we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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