I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i drank out of a bidet.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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