Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
