Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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