I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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