you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
