Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
