Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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