Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
