I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
