dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
