I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
