please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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