Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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