So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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