I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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