Having a random hookup so left but love u
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
