yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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