u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
