She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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