Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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