I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
there was a trapeze. enough said
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think people are normalizing furries
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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