Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
