What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
