all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
