one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Every concussion has its silver lining
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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