no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
