John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
