he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
