best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well I just put wine in my tea
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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